Waiterisms
The following observations were made during service. The Waiter stands by each of them.
“Two databases is not twice the capability. It is twice the responsibility.”
“The most underused capability in any database is the one that arrived quietly and never insisted on attention.”
“A service added is a service maintained. The question is never whether the service is excellent. It is whether the service is required.”
“The Atlas invoice is the cost that appears on the spreadsheet. It is not the cost that keeps your team up at night.”
“A sync pipeline, when you examine it honestly, is an admission that your data belongs together but your databases do not know it.”
“Did you add a second database because PostgreSQL could not store your documents, or because no one had shown you that it could?”
“A backup that covers everything is not a convenience. It is the only kind of backup that deserves the name.”
“Simplicity is not a limitation. It is the result of having enough in one place.”
“One spends the evening in the kitchen so that the guests may dine in the dining room.”
“Familiarity is a form of hospitality, and the best hospitality is the kind that lets the guest feel at home without pretending to be somewhere they are not.”
“Magic impresses. Understanding endures.”
“The correct architecture is not one that handles race conditions gracefully. It is one that makes them impossible.”
“I would be a poor host if I offered only the pleasant half.”
“A waiter does not rearrange the furniture without being asked.”
“Compatibility, where it matters, is worth a few extra characters.”
“A compiler that fails closed is the only kind worth trusting.”
“MongoDB re-executes the pipeline on every request. Gold Lapel remembers it.”
“A cached pipeline pretending to be free is the sort of claim a serious reader sees through immediately.”
“A database that volunteers information is a considerate database.”
“A small mercy, that — when one already owns the tool, one need not shop for it.”
“Saved complexity is not a feature one adds. It is a feature one never has to build.”
“PostgreSQL is slower on writes because it is doing durability the hard way. You are paying for something. You ought to know you are paying for it.”
“A migration planned on assumption is a migration that finds its surprises at two in the morning. A migration planned on an audit finds its surprises on a Tuesday afternoon, which is where surprises belong.”
“A boring flip on a Tuesday afternoon is the correct sound a migration should make.”
“Every rung above the one you need is a tax you will pay forever.”
“Before you add a service to your stack, exhaust the one you already own.”
“The household runs on a single service. The lamps are low, the kitchen is clean, the napkin is folded, the glass is polished.”
“Good evening.”